By Timmy the Intern
(P.S. Try reading this in time with the beat from Still DRE for maximum effect!)
News Wrap (Featuring Professor Lord Lord)
Yo, we’ve been away a while but now we’re back
bringing it back here to launch another all out attack
on the news with my pen in one hand and in the other my sack
grabbing them nuts, yeah want my damn salty snack
to get back to the top, damn, I need my sodium, to get back to that podium
think of all the loyal fans and what I owe to them,
let this be an ode to them.
Oh to clarify I meant a pack of peanuts…not my scrotum.
So what’s going on in the world today? People fighting, feuding, looting – Not okay
I don’t care if you’re the protégé of Dre bashing gays with everything he says
I’ll not sit silent as society decays.
All I hear, all I see in eyes is fear; bombs, conflict and threats
Responding clear by bringing The Judgement near is not, among ideas, the best.
But there’s a chance for us yet.
There’s no need for you and heart to part folks, better to fight fear and start hope
and I don’t know about you, but I prefer ‘Trump’ as an onomatopoeic fart joke
not in the Whitehouse leaving every Muslim on a mat and praying for new starts,
blokes are in the streets fighting for opportunity and something to eat
after getting the economic rug pulled from under their feet
left sunk in retreat the thump of this beat gets me drunk on defiance
I’ll never slump to defeat.
It’s nearly happened – but the loss didn’t stick to me,
the path is slippery but I’m walking it to victory
and all your slings and arrows don’t mean shit to me
they’re knives but I carry myself epistley.
Still, all beats have deadlines
So let’s stop the delay and get straight to your headlines.
The serfs are turfed out of home ownership
and stem cell research is making redundant that donor shit,
Someone probably went and died in the middle east today
and while Labour say Corbyn can’t, then Theresa May.
Migrants are worried about whether they need Visa stay
and the daughter of Lord Janner is upset with the police today.
In better news I’m pleased to say a Pride Parade in Norwich at least pleased the gays.
There’s still some folk decent, eh?
In other news, Pokémon GO is still going
and Kim K just bought a farm, that means she still hoeing.
And Kanye, we gave the cage a rattle with the tale that we tattle
that’s an invitation to battle, wanna spit soul but you vomit gravel.
Better retreat sir, I beseech ya, we’re sure to beat ya our rhymes are neater,
hit to the bleacher, over 60 followers on twitter to tweet ta,
Edgey so we’ll fuck you on Raw like Lita,
leaving you gasping on a bench in awe at our feat, ya
just a mensch, but we’re Ubermensch like Nietzsche.
Call you a taxi and send you to Lord Lord for the feature!
(Professor Lord Lord)
Over to me, sir!
Yo, I ain’t lyin, it ain’t prions, no mad cow when I say I’m straight Science
But let’s leave that out of this.
I ain’t some flunky off the street, I’m getting funky with this beat
like I’m an Alchemist
Real enough to pull ghetto, silver suit like Fullmetal so you fool’s better
fucking bounce to this.
Let’s get high, not out of merriment, but as an experiment
we’ll smoke an ounce to this.
Just don’t be doubtin’ this.
I know you’re stupid, no fine student and I’ll make you mad
when I tell you Heisenberg wasn’t created for Breaking Bad.
He came up with the principle of uncertainty.
A quantum concept with which your young set are flirting, G.
Oh, so back then you cool? Well that was at school,
here, let me give you Hamilton’s rule.
It says a sacrifice is that much nicer the closer you’re related,
and that means even with your brothers we’re unabated.
You’ll be finished, with a sense of belatedness, done.
Because me and my Termites share relatedness one.
Yeah, our muscles we finally gone flexed,
don’t care who’s on next,
we’re the capper, the finest rappers.
We’re Terminal Context!
(C) Timmy The Internizzle and Professor Lord ‘Lordy’ Lord 2016 – From the album ‘News Dawn, News Day’ available probably never on the ItchyTriggerFingerZaggin label.