By Longinus, Brutus and Pompey
Jeremy Corbyn’s head is seemingly on the block. Despite his sweeping run to power as the head of the Labour Party only a handful of months ago, to the largest public support for any labour leader, his own party seem to be done with him. There are some who are suggesting that the Parliamentary Labour Party (PLP) and those who wish to support the labour party, and Corbyn, are at somewhat of a disconnect. In this list, we analyse;
The Top Ten Qualities the Parliamentary Labour Party Seem to Want in Their Leader
1) Strong in the face of a challenge.
Unless the challenge is a leadership challenge and it’s Corbyn being strong and obstinate.
2) A deep connection with the electorate.
Unless the electorate are young, not centre-leftist and support Corbyn.
3) Good links with the unions.
Unless those unions stand up for Corbyn.
4) A good standing with the media.
Because that sort of thing has always been great for British politics. Like how Andy Coulson (convicted criminal) was allowed at the right hand of the Prime Minister of the UK or how that whole phone hacking, paying off police and leading politicians wining and dining with the elite in media only led to transparency and good things for all.
5) A strong policy direction. A mandate set in stone, if you will.
Because that wasn’t embarrassing for Ed Miliband.
6) A decent ability to eat a bacon sarnie.
No veggies allowed, Jeremy.
7) Ed Balls
8) A strong desire for traditional labour party values
As long as they are the labour values circa 1994-2010
9) As much strength and effort in opposition as if in office.
Best caused by petty squabbling, power plays and in-fighting.
10) Presenting a strong, united front to the people to show we care about them.
Well done, guys. Well done.