Over 50% of Young People have Viewed Porn by 16

By comedians and sex rights activists Dick Balls and Fanny Watcher

A study by a university that, funnily enough, has ‘sex’ in its name, has suggested that 53% of 11 to 16-year-olds have seen explicit, pornographic material. Middlesex University released the study, which was undertaken with many other children’s welfare groups.

Of course the real question we have to ask is why are we, as a society, not doing more to educate our children about sex earlier? Given studies like this appear year after year, Why have moves not been made to modernise the sex education curriculum and why is it still an issue? I hope not because of the lobbying groups of ‘Please, think of the children!’ types who want you to think of the children so don’t spoil their innocence by teaching them about sex, but then want you to think of the children when a lack of education sends children the way of pornography to indulge their curiosity that ends up with them inevitably calling for a ban on everything or the removal of genitalia at birth or something grossly puritanical.

The other thing that comes up, of course, is how ‘unrealistic’ and aggressive pornography can be. Well, evidently then, teenagers need some education in what to browse for because I am telling you, I have seen a man the size of a zeppelin with a beard like a bear’s pubes tenderly making love to a hag-faced witch with slipper titties. It was beautiful. There are no unrealistic body expectations in that and it is not a sextape, it’s a love making art film. This content exists, could it be we just live in a ruthlessly vapid and vain society that presents unrealistic images of people all the time, everywhere? You surely can’t blame pornography for that any more than Vogue magazine or Hollywood.

Mark Fenhalls QC, chair of the Criminal Bar Association chimed in by saying “The level of sexual assaults feels like it is increasing.” ‘Feels like’, eh? Well I’m glad you’re putting a shift in scouring the evidence. Therefore he proselytised based upon this assumption without, seemingly, checking for facts and figures to back it up. Well done Mark, have a biscuit.

Two words, guys – SEX EDUCATION. Not some wishy-washy nonsense video with a cartoon of the dismembered halves of a man and a woman showing you the internal details, though that is a necessity, a tradition and very, very funny. No, sex education that is modern and relates to the world as we know it now. Sex education that takes into account pornography’s existence and highlights the differences between it and reality. Sex education that includes discussions on technology and its relationship with sexuality in a modern world. Sex education that includes an aspect of body image and self confidence in it, so that kids are not growing up thinking they are hideous and undesirable because they don’t look like porn stars. How about sex education that includes a little parental input as well, maybe? So instead of parents throwing their kids at the mercy of the state curriculum they could have a little chat with them and talk to them about life, the universe, the birds, the bees and how secretly, behind the scenes, they’re all fucking each other.

Looking to hide and ban only gets us to a position where young people are criminalised for exploring their sexuality using technology. Police in the UK have warned people under-18 that taking and distributing naked photographs of themselves could get them in trouble and potentially charged with making and distributing child pornography. The age of consent in the UK is 16. So we have an attitude to sex that is basically heads-buried-in-sand, and a legal system that props this up by saying people can legally have sex at the age of 16 but if they take photographs of themselves having sex at this age, they are making child pornography and could be prosecuted. Essentially criminalising sexually active young people with laws intended to protect them from abuse and harm. And porn is the danger? Not a hideously anachronistic legal system? Someone needs to actually have a think about this.

But, we’ll probably just get some ‘Mothers Against My Kids Looking At Massive Dongers and Bald Slits Online’ group petition to have ISPs ban porn. After all, blocking your ears and closing your eyes is easier than actually doing something to make the world a better place. Nobody has the time or money for that, we have jobs and mortgages.

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