Random Physical Attacks Continue in Greater Manchester Area

By Joanne Oanes

The Greater Manchester area has been blighted in recent weeks by a spate of attacks, seemingly perpetuated at random, on people outside gay nightclubs. The attacker has yet to be traced, despite his leaving plenty of clues at the scenes of his crimes – crimes that have so far hospitalised 250 completely randomly selected targets, all gay.

He often leaves a note on his randomly selected victims that says;
I just really hate gay people. I think gay people are disgusting and I just want to beat up gay people because gay people are gay. I hate their gay faces, their gay brains and their stupid gay selves. I just want to batter the living snuff out of those daft, abhorrent abomination queermos and gaywads. Fuck gay people in their fucking gay faces, death to gays – Sincerely, Ian ‘I Hate Gays’ Gayhater

He has also left behind homophobic slurs written in blood, a pin-badge that says “Death to Queers” and a stabbed copy of ‘YMCA’ by Village People on vinyl; all artefacts suggesting random attacks on human beings and their ways of life and freedoms. This evidence has led to police, in conjunction with their experts at Sky News, to conclude the attacks are completely random.

One his victims, a 20 year old gay man who does not wish to be named, said that the unmotivated attack that he was a victim of was met with a torrent of anti-freedom abuse. “He was kicking me and kicking me, I could feel my ribs breaking, my lungs filled with blood and he just kept shouting “I am only doing this because you are gay!” How can such a random act of violence occur with no motivation whatsoever?”

The completely pattern free, unmotivated nature of the attacks, all on gay people, all outside gay nightclubs, has police baffled. They have posted officers at clubs far and wide in the Greater Manchester area and still they struggle to catch this perpetrator of randomly motivated attacks.

“There have been suggestions,” said the Chief of Greater Manchester Police, “That these may be acts of homophobic terrorism, and this was our initial suspicion. But following intense investigation from some middle-aged, sheltered, straight, middle class television broadcasters and journalists we have come to realise that what this person really disagrees with is Great British freedom and evidently our sources could not possibly be wrong because they are such experts on these things.”

“We cannot have these lunatics, these disgusting mad men, who are clearly mentally ill  – and obviously all mentally ill people go around committing violent crimes – but we cannot have these mad men running amuck and randomly targeting people like this.” Journalist and expert at everything in life, Julie Hartless-Brewer, told our reporter.

The recent death of leftist nutter, braying jackal and out of touch Marxist propagandist Owen Jones was also linked to the attacks, but a coroner’s report indicates he simply read this article and died of despair.

Police are advising that people take extra care if they are out enjoying themselves in Manchester, although they make no specific suggestions as to which locations or persons may be in danger because of how little connection there seems to be with the victims of these crimes.

Terminal Context stands in sympathy and with strength with the LGBT community at this difficult time, and was working hard to avoid all profiteering from the recent tragedy that has occurred in Orlando. However, what we cannot abide is ludicrous, speculative media punditry that expresses ignorance at the severity and specific nature of the crimes that have occurred and dismisses the worries and fears of those communities most affected so that they can push their own agenda. Terminal Context refuses to stand silent in such circumstances, and will always unleash the full force of our irreverence on any news organisation that presents such horrific tragedies in such a simplified and ignorant light.

EDIT: For anyone who may not know what this is about.

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