Intern Tommy’s Poems – Timmy Smells

By Tommy the Temporary Replacement Intern
Timmy Smells

Timmy is a dickhead, and he bloody smells.
He’s got a micropenis, and tiny balls as well.
He’s a soppy bastard, he lives with his mum.
His favouritest hobby is sitting on his bum.

Oh, Timmy smells, Timmy smells, and he’s probably gay.
Not that I’ve a problem with that, I just have to say! Hey!
Timmy smells, Timmy smells, just get back to work.
Quick slacking and moaning, you entitled jerk! Hey!

There was a young man named Timmy,
his voice was nasal and tinny.
His face makes your hurl.
And he dresses like a girl,
in high heels, a boobtube and a pinny.

LEGAL NOTICE: Terminal Context is obliged by contract to retract all these accusations regarding our Head of the Intern Department, Timmy. Tommy was employed during an industrial action, and screening was not properly done to ensure he was a good character. He has since been sacked, but we will preserve his poetic hatespeech for posterity and because, despite Timmy’s protestations, some of us do find it quite funny.


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