Hillary Clinton Leads the Way for Women

By Miss O. Jeanie

Following her victory in the Democratic Nomination, and securing her future as a contender for President of the United States, Hillary Clinton has declared that this is a victory for women worldwide as people finally, after many years, chose to cease oppressing women and finally allowed one an opportunity to lead them.

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The majestic statesperson and pioneer for women in politics everywhere. Brazil, India, UK, Germany, you can now elect women! It’s okay! She has broken through the glass ceiling for you all!

If we exclude Cleopatra of Ancient Egypt, Isabel Perón of Argentina, Queen Nefertiti of Egypt, Boudicca Queen of the Iceni, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, Elizabeth I of Great Britain, Elizabeth II of the same, Queen Victoria also of Great Britain, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher of the UK, Prime Minister Indira Ghandi of India, Empress Catherine the Great of Russia, Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma, and an exhaustive list of other powerful and influential female leaders through history to the modern day, then Hillary Clinton is the first woman in the world, ever, to be afforded an opportunity at power and influence. It is truly a milestone for us women to be in such a privileged position after having clearly been ignored for so long.

Here in the Terminal Context offices, as soon as her successful nomination was announced, we women let out a collective tired sigh of joy. One of them suggested she would have to sync up her menstruation with Hillary as a sign of solidarity. Her partner, Susan, told me she was being sarcastic, but I could tell she was sincere. Women are so happy and proud to finally see their sex represented on the world stage for the first time ever in history – again, if you ignore all those other times.

It is a proud day for women. We finally have our champion.

You know, I am starting to think that, actually, the United States is just straight up arse-backwards.

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