By Willow Leathers
It is with great sadness and sympathy that Terminal Context announces the breaking of the youngest player to 10,000 runs record. Previously held by Lord High Protector of the Shield of Chamanyarna Sachin Tendulkar, Alistair Cook has now eclipsed him as the youngest player to reach to the landmark number of runs.
It seemed set for Sachin to retain his record after poor starts from Cook and profligacy with wickets of Sri Lanka, however a long stand by Sri Lanka’s batsmen in their follow on innings of the second test saw Cook afforded an opportunity to return to the crease to make up his meagre five run deficit. He did so with aplomb, helping England to an almost certain second win. Sachin is reported as having previously used his magic to deny the record. How it came to fail is not known.
Sachin was unavailable for comment. We understand his magic only has limited power and he may have been off helping starving children or saving the world from cosmic catastrophe as he so often does. We simply wish him kind commiserations and apologise for our countryman daring to try to best the man, the myth and the legend that is Sachin Tendulkar.
In the name of the Holy Golden Underpants, go forth and cricket.