by Timmy the Intern
There was a man of opposites
the world called Donald Trump.
He was kind of like a dumber
ugly, wig-wearing Forest Gump.
He promised us all unity
whilst starting lots of fights.
He promised us some brighter days
and all we got were darker nights.
I went for breakfast at his house
he served us all for dinner.
I lost the draw for intellect
and he called me a winner.
I asked him to play classic rock
and he put on sodding Enya.
I told him I was American
he said I was from Kenya!
We went out for Mexican food
the burritos were brill.
When we finished up, we left
he said they’d foot the bill!
“That’s not how restaurants work!”
I said, knowing I had the trump hand.
“Yes it is, when I am elected
and I change this country to Trumpland!”
Where day is night
and wrong is wright
and peace is fight
and dark is light
and pay is owed
and high is lowed
and stay is goed
and hay is road
and Muslims all wear tracer tags so you can see them coming
and liberals are all gunned down, so they’re always running.
And Mexicans will pay for everything, even our damn wall.
Hey look at the size of my hands! Massive dick and balls!
and anyone who disagrees is an enemy of the state.
So come on, now and vote for me. Vote now, don’t be late.
You’d think he was a madman, you’d think he was deranged.
The arrogant billionaire tycoon who can’t afford good hairs.
A vote for him is something new, it’s different and a change.
Because the country’s never been messed up
By ludicrous, selfish, obnoxious, self-centred
horrid, racist, simple-minded, ego-driven billionaires.