#NationalWineDay Draws Criticism from Alcoholic Support Groups

by Al Coholic

Alcoholics Anonymous, the group famous for disempowering people with alcohol abuse problems and suggesting they put their faith in a higher power to help them, but try to explicitly deny suggestions that they’re basically a boozehound God cult, have criticised #NationalWineDay as they say it encourages unhealthy drinking and triggers their members.

The National Day of Wine has been recognised since 1732 and is in no way just a marketing ploy. First put into effect in France, it quickly gained popularity around the world as love for wine is universal. Enacted by Pierre Pistasanuit, aide to King Louis XV, a national wine holiday was essential in France at the time, as class tensions were high but getting drunk was something everyone could get behind.

However there have been some who thought it a bad idea. It was first opposed by puritans in the 19th century who believed the drunken sin and debauchery was an affront to God’s love. But then since God gave us wine, they could shut up. This recent opposition mainly stems from the fact that when you disempower people in a crazy God-cult scheme, they suddenly have very little control over themselves and so are likely to be offended by mentions or reminders of booze.

“I think they should shut up and have a drink!” Says Ernest Gallo, notorious deceased wine peddler, “I’m dead and even I can relax and have a drink. If you don’t want a drink, just don’t have one but don’t go causing grief for people who do want a drink.”

“This is not about spoiling people’s fun,” says Justin Saint, spokesperson for AA, “It’s about other people spoiling our lives. How dare people do something we find disagreeable in or around our lives. Shouldn’t they change their wicked ways to accommodate for our fuck ups?”

No is the opinion of those behind National Wine Day, the French, and everyone else sensible.

Terminal Context supports responsible drinking – Unless you’re properly in a mood to get rickety-rickety-wrecked.

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