Brexit Camp In Disarray as Cereal Steals Name

by Nedward Rodriguez

In the run up to the EU referendum, the term ‘Brexit’ has come to mean the symbolic exit of Britain from the EU. Following on in the press’s love for portmanteaus like Brexit, Grexit, Brangelina and of course the famous headline from when Natalie Portman broke her toe, Portmantoe, Brexit was a term loaded with political connotation.

However, Quaker, the oats company, have put paid to that as their new breakfast cereal for those with constipation arrives on shelves. Brexit is the perfect breakfast cereal for support a swift evacuation of bowels, having more fibre per 100g than the nearest competitor.

“Quaker do not feel particularly bad for using the ‘Brexit’ term for our new cereal,” says the man in the funny hat from the cereal boxes, “The term ‘Brexit’ has been used by the Out camp to promote the quick distribution of shit from people’s bodily orifices and Quaker are continuing to use the name with this tradition in mind.”

The cereal, RRP £1.99 a box, is not expected to be a huge success among Brexiteers, since they seem to so enjoy being full of shit. However there is already significant market research that suggests the product could be very successful.

The EU argument continues, but at least everyone involved can wake up to a healthy breakfast that promotes regularity of bowel.


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