Controversy over Government ‘Home Fracking’ Scheme

by Doug Holes

Environmental groups are concerned that new government grants supporting home fracking are coming into effect.

Hydraulic fracturing is the process of creating earthquakes to generate fossil fuels. Fossil fuels are those archaic hydrocarbons we burn to make stuff do stuff we’re too lazy to do ourselves. One of the side effects is turning water on fire.

Usually the process is only performed by highly qualified engineers and geologists, however in order to save money and as part of David Cameron’s ‘big society’ nonsense, which involves making people do for free what other more qualified people would charge for, home fracking kits and grants to begin shale gas extraction are being given to interested individuals who apply to the Department for Energy.

Environmental groups suggest that fracking is potentially dangerous, having been proven to cause some earthquakes as well as potentially poisoning groundwater. The people who make an awful lot of money from fracking say it is fine, so that must definitely be true.

While the country does face an energy shortage, and wishes to sever its ties to Russian energy providers, environmentalists would prefer more is invested in refining and building renewable power stations, such as tidal, wind or solar energy stations. However, that’s not nearly as efficient or easy as smashing the hell out of the ground we stand on with high pressure water jets.

The home fracking kits are essentially comprised of a big drill and a Karcher pressure washer. How effective they are is not known, but you know this government, if it’s not u-turns it’s publicly funding utterly fruitless endeavours like PFI, the home fracking scheme, the bank bailouts and Jeremy Hunt.

There is uncertainty as to whether or not the scheme will be a success, but that won’t stop the government pointlessly investing in it, or the environmental lobby moaning about it.

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