by I. C. Dong
The hashtag #NationalSendANudeDay was more than just a seedy twitter ploy to ogle people’s bits for some people. While these so called ‘National Day’ events seem dreamed up by a variety of perverted marketing executives, because they are, to some they are an important celebration of their cultures and lifestyles.
Naturists are those individuals who choose to shun the shame of nakedness, to forgo that clinging, sordid hug of clothing on skin. They like it in the buff. They rock out with their genitals on display. They like to be nekkid. All credit to them.
Here in Europe, mostly thanks to much-missed exceptional teenage touch-it material and irreverent gaze at European life TV show ‘Eurotrash’, naturists are mostly considered to be bearded old Austrians whose balls hang to their knees, or horny blonde Norwegians taking saunas together. In the UK it is ‘private beaches’ inhabited by an odd species of leather skinned crone with boobs like hotel slippers. It is a mixed bag of bodies, but the unifying theme is these people celebrate their nudity. They are unashamed of their bodies and feel no necessity to hide it. Nature, to them, is beautiful.
So it was an international community of these free spirits chose to use the national day of sending nudes to begin what can only be considered a performance art piece, as they dispersed themselves around the world via the postal system. The literally sent a nude.
Steve and Hayley Lorrington, from San Francisco, went the furthest distance, ending up lost with their bits out in Antananarivo, Madagascar.
“I was minding my own business,” says Steve, “When a lemur came up behind me, naked as the day he was born, and just danced in front of us. It was an incredible experience, a chance to share a truly primal moment in natural nakedness with a majestic member of our own order of life. Would this primate have been as receptive to our presence if we’d been wearing clothes, carrying backpacks? I doubt it.”
Mail organisations worldwide are reporting record numbers of packages containing people in the nip in world history. Given that this world has a habit of making people ashamed even if they are clothed, if they ordain that those people are in the wrong clothes, or are not dressed in the prescribed fashions of the time, it is a welcome relief to know there are millions of people in this world who are more ashamed of clothes than of themselves.
Plus, who doesn’t like looking a nude people? Come on. Old, young (not illegally so), big, small, whether you like what you see or you hate it you can’t not look. Come on! Titties man. Titties and balls. How can you not look at all them titties and balls? Pendular swinging scrotes and flappy dongs wiggling as the wind whistles by. Bouncy boobies bobbing, wibble-wobbling like fleshy jelly. Pointy triangular bushy poontang and bums, man, bums everywhere. Big, round, flat, saggy, just bums, they’re great, they’re always positive, they’re either sexy or funny, there’s no middle ground with a bum.